Well...i thought about this post...shall i or shall i not post it :) but hey, this is my personal site, and i need to talk this out of me, its easier like that :) a few day ago i just realized why i like this girl "so much", i mean its noting serious, just some thoughts (i have a lot of mistakes in my post...but that's because im don't know english :) ) about...life or living a life :) till now in my relationships i was always the ideal or i was acting like the ideal man for my partner,i tried to give everything what i can to make the girls happy,of course there was many times bad things too, but this post is not about that now :), and that was absolutely ok, good, almost perfect, always :)

all of them,relationships, have ended...the question is not why, that i know...my fault every time :)) or not :))) the question would be "what was missing in those relationships"...and i had that question many times in my mind, but...and this "but" is what i just realized, i always searched what THEY want..what THEY need...what to say to THEM...how to make THEM happy and i never thought about me, it was not important, if my partner is happy im happy too :) and girls are girls, if they are happy they dont care :))) or not to much, so...what i mean,and back to that question with BUT, is that its not hard to make happy someone, for who you can be the ideal man...or for who you can try to be, and now im stuck...dont know how to continue the sentence... :) hm...the "question" in all this would be something like this : how would i feel if i found someone who is perfect for ME...

and now i need to say that this is just dreaming, like my dream world wher i have many nice things...and bla bla, im just thinking about it...not care just thinking, dreaming, i know that i will not have anything what i ever wanted from this life...and its really not much, and not that i will not have, i dont want to have... :(  i got to far with this all...every day alone in my room...but this is me, and its enough for me, for the rest what i have...damn i hate this themes :))) thats 1 of the reasons that i made this site...if i dont have anyone to talk to...i will do it by my self :) talk to myself !!! :) make a post like this and then read it next couple days :))) i read it about 10 times till now... :D its really messy :D even i dont understand it full :))) anyway...this is it for now...im goiing to sleep :( good night zoolee :)))))